Dear friends,
For many years, Christians have been teaching on marriage and family life. But recently, the focus has moved somewhat towards singleness. This is in part because of our society’s movement away from marriage towards singleness, which is itself somewhat due to an attempt to correct an overemphasis on marriage.
This week in Two Ways News, we are discussing the issue of singleness not for either of those reasons, but because of Paul’s dealing with the subject in 1 Corinthians 7:25-40. So, following on from Paul’s discussion of contentment, we address the issues around whether we should marry and the consequences that flow from it.
Thank you for providing feedback. We are glad to hear how much you are enjoying our discussions, and are encouraged to think further by your questions and comments to us at respond@twm.email.
Yours,
Phillip
Phillip: The King’s Birthday is coming soon, on the second weekend in June. As usual, we will be holding our conference at Moore College on the afternoon of Monday 8th. This year, we will be looking at the topic of ‘Prophecy Today’. This is a great topic which teaches us how God relates to us by his Word.
Are there prophets today?
Why should we seek to prophesy?
What is it to prophesy?
If prophecy is preaching, should women preach?
If prophecy is not preaching, what is it?
Friends, we will be pursuing many questions as we explore this topic.
Registrations are now open – go to phillipjensen.com and register now; we reserve seats in the hall by registration number. For those living outside of Sydney we have a live stream you can register for, so why not get a group to come and watch with you?
Phillip Jensen: Last week, we left off at a cliffhanger. We were looking at 1 Corinthians 7:17–24, which dealt with the idea of being content with where you were when God called you in the area of married life. But now we come to the question of those who are not married. This brings us to a controversial and difficult passage in verses 25–40.
Peter Jensen: In Paul Barnett’s commentary on 1 Corinthians,1 he says that this is one of the most disputed passages in the New Testament.
1 Corinthians 7:25–40
Now concerning the betrothed, I have no command from the Lord, but I give my judgement as one who by the Lord’s mercy is trustworthy. I think that in view of the present distress it is good for a person to remain as he is. Are you bound to a wife? Do not seek to be free. Are you free from a wife? Do not seek a wife. But if you do marry, you have not sinned, and if a betrothed woman marries, she has not sinned. Yet those who marry will have worldly troubles, and I would spare you that. This is what I mean, brothers: the appointed time has grown very short. From now on, let those who have wives live as though they had none, and those who mourn as though they were not mourning, and those who rejoice as though they were not rejoicing, and those who buy as though they had no goods, and those who deal with the world as though they had no dealings with it. For the present form of this world is passing away.
I want you to be free from anxieties. The unmarried man is anxious about the things of the Lord, how to please the Lord. But the married man is anxious about worldly things, how to please his wife, and his interests are divided. And the unmarried or betrothed woman is anxious about the things of the Lord, how to be holy in body and spirit. But the married woman is anxious about worldly things, how to please her husband. I say this for your own benefit, not to lay any restraint upon you, but to promote good order and to secure your undivided devotion to the Lord.
If anyone thinks that he is not behaving properly toward his betrothed, if his passions are strong, and it has to be, let him do as he wishes: let them marry—it is no sin. But whoever is firmly established in his heart, being under no necessity but having his desire under control, and has determined this in his heart, to keep her as his betrothed, he will do well. So then he who marries his betrothed does well, and he who refrains from marriage will do even better.
A wife is bound to her husband as long as he lives. But if her husband dies, she is free to be married to whom she wishes, only in the Lord. Yet in my judgement she is happier if she remains as she is. And I think that I too have the Spirit of God.
We’ve heard that this is a difficult passage. One of these difficulties is in figuring out the authority of what Paul is saying—for he contrasts his words with the words of the Lord, yet he seems to speak with authority, and at the end he claims to have the spirit of God.
Phillip: Yes, and he thinks of himself as somebody who, by the Lord’s mercy, is trustworthy. So it’s not as if he’s saying, “You don’t have to pay attention to me because I haven’t got a word from the Lord.” What he means is that he hasn’t got a word about what Jesus said on this subject.
Peter: There’s also the question of the word ‘virgins’ translated by the ESV as ‘betrothed’; which word is correct? And what about the main reason Paul gives for his advice—that they were living in times of distress, and that there will be the passing away of the present form of the world? Does that mean that he believes that the return of Jesus is imminent? Then there’s the question of marriage as opposed to singleness; he seems to favour the latter, but does he really? That is a vexed question in a world which can be given to the exaltation of marriage (which you refer to as ‘marriolatry’)—or among some, the exaltation of singleness.
Phillip: That contrast in the world today is very strong. Especially within our churches, there’s a great exaltation of marriage and family life, yet there’s also a growing exaltation of singleness in the community around us. This is also coming across in the church, for there are many people who are not speaking necessarily against other people getting married, but they see marriage and family life as overstated and so choose to be single.
In one church I was ministering in some years ago, there were 40 middle-aged single men within the congregation: some of them widowed, many of them divorced, some who never married. But fitting into a church, which is all about families, children, Sunday school, and youth group, is difficult.
Peter: There are mountains to climb here. To start off, we’ll deal with context, then move on to content. But I don’t want to give any impression that this passage is impossible, because difficult passages encourage us to dig deeper.
Phillip: I believe there are no difficult passages, just difficulties in our minds. Don’t blame the passage; blame our assumptions, our false thinking. That’s why I like difficult passages—they give me the chance to change my mind. I get the chance to discover the assumptions and presuppositions that I’ve made thoughtlessly, because what Paul is saying doesn’t fit with what I’m expecting him to say.
Peter: Indeed. We must first look at the context of this passage. In 7:1–7, the question of sex in marriage is addressed, indicating that, like the rest of Scripture, Paul is not anti-sex—so long as it’s done in the right place, at the right time. In 7:8–9 he talks about sex amongst the widowed and the unmarried; 7:10 mentions separation; 7:11–16 is on marriage to an unbeliever. Then as we saw last week, he seems to diverge in 7:17–24, giving a theological teaching on contentment, which is the undergirding theme of the chapter. Now we come to the topic of virgins. The passage itself could have been a topic raised by the Corinthians, for in saying “now concerning the betrothed”, he indicates that he is in conversation with them.
Some translations, including the NIV, say ‘virgins’; the ESV gives us ‘betrothed’. What does this mean?
Phillip: The actual word is ‘virgin’, but the choice of the ESV to use the word ‘betrothed’ is an attempt to help us understand what is being spoken of. A betrothed person is someone who is bound to a marriage. It’s like our engagements, although engagements can be broken. Betrothal, however, required a legal contract. It may be that most virgins were betrothed to somebody early on, because marriage in the ancient world was conducted very early and by family agreements. But the word in the passage is ‘virgin’, which I believe is meant to mean ‘unmarried’. That is because he goes on to talk about the unmarried, which includes widows or the word widow may actually mean ‘widower’.
Furthermore, when Paul talks about virgins, is he talking about the betrothed or the father of the virgin? When he talks about the person's virgin, is he talking about what the man who has a wife betrothed to him should do? Or is it about what the father of a virgin, who has betrothed his daughter to another man, should be doing or not doing? There are translation problems and it’s in what translators think is the situation of life that leads to these translations. For example, he can be talking about right and wrong when he talks of the word ‘good’; he can be referring to good as opposed to sin, though other times he can be talking about good in terms of utility - a sensible, beneficial thing as opposed to a foolish thing. So we have a series of words here which may have different meanings.
Peter: What do you make of the “present distress” that he mentioned?
Phillip: The word ‘present’ could mean ‘impending’, but either way, it is referring to things like conflict, persecution, famine, or war. The great Australian writer Bruce Winter suggests that it’s referring to the famine that was there at the time. But Paul also says in verse 29, “The appointed time has grown very short,” because the distresses that we live under in this world are under the hands of God. What they’re going through is not the permanent state of life. But then verse 31 says, “For the present form of this world is passing away,” which makes us wonder whether he is talking about the end of the world. However, what he is really referring to is the present form: the culture and the practices of this world are coming to an end.
I haven’t yet answered the question.
Peter: No, but you’ve given helpful clarification, which is essential to have before going into the passage itself.
Phillip: We’ve got certain assumptions that give us problems in our reading.
Peter: Yes—for example, we read a passage like this too directly, as though we don’t need the background. We then think our situation is directly referred to in the passage, rather than listening to what the passage itself is saying and drawing out its principles. So we then get these things you’ve referred to already: the worship of marriage, as though all life’s meaning is found in marriage; or the worship of singleness, which is so common in our culture. Looking to a passage like this to find rationalisation is not very wise.
Phillip: There are those who think their life has no meaning unless they’re married. Then there are those who think that being single is the purpose and the meaning of life, and that marriage will distract them from it.
Peter: The topic of contentment is lurking here in the background. But let’s now look at the passage section-by-section, starting with verses 26–28.
Phillip: It’s all tempered by this phrase, ‘present distress’. That is, the present pressure, or the impending calamity. Given what we’ve been taught in verses 17–24 about contentment, he now says that it’s good to remain as you are. Bound or unbound, don’t change. That’s why ‘betrothed’ is not a bad translation at this point. If you’re married, don’t seek to be single; if you’re single, do not seek to be married. As you are called, so it is good to remain. But the word ‘good’ here, I take it, refers to utility, because as he goes on to speak about marriage, he suggests that it creates anxiety. Moreover, in verse 35, he reveals that he says this for our own benefit.
What he means is that in the circumstances of life where contentment is found in the gospel, the changes that you experience are a matter of benefit, and are of this world. Paul wishes to spare them of the troubles of the flesh—in other words, the troubles of this life. So I take it that in verses 29–31, he’s going to elaborate on the meaning of verses 26–28.
Peter: 1 Corinthians 7:29–31
This is what I mean, brothers: the appointed time has grown very short. From now on, let those who have wives live as though they had none, and those who mourn as though they were not mourning, and those who rejoice as though they were not rejoicing, and those who buy as though they had no goods, and those who deal with the world as though they had no dealings with it. For the present form of this world is passing away.
What does he mean by “the present form of this world is passing away”? He’s likely referring to the world in the sense of the culture, the present schema, the outward form of the world; for example, the persecution being suffered by so many Christians then and now. So he’s saying that the time in which these things are occurring is short, and the present culture will pass. In this shortened time, the way to live is free from normal practices. But does that mean that we should be free from these practices forever?
The passage is addressed to the Corinthians at that time, and he’s already discussed and commended marriage. He is not declaring that under Christianity, there will be far fewer marriages, and that you should only marry if you must. I believe he’s pointing to the time in which they were living as being one where wisdom demanded a degree of carefulness about these matters.
Phillip: It’s hard to imagine that the permanent state of Christianity would be that those who have wives live as though they had none.
Peter: That’s not how it should be read.
Phillip: If you take “the present distress” to mean the end of the world, then you would think that until the Lord returns you should ignore your wife. But that’s the opposite of what he said in 7:1–5. He clearly is concerned that we should be concerned for our wife and for our husband.
Peter: Additionally, when he says, “those who mourn as though they were not mourning”, does that mean we can’t ever be in grief? No—he’s talking about the present time.
Phillip: Indeed, because in Romans 12:15, he says, “Weep with those who weep.” In Philippians 4:4, he says, “Rejoice in the Lord always; again I will say, rejoice.” The Christian life is not to be lived as those verses would indicate, which is why I take it that the present distress, the schema of this world, the persecution, or whatever was happening or about to happen in Corinth, is governing what he says here.
Peter: Does that mean there’s no application for us?
Phillip: No, because in the next section he explains that he wants to spare us from anxiety, which can be applied to us. We just need to filter the message from Paul to Sydney via Corinth. In other words, we must think about it in terms of the context in which Paul was writing.
In verse 34, he says that married life carries with it certain anxieties, and those anxieties are increased dramatically in times of distress. I think back to what Jesus says in Mark 13:14–19
But when you see the abomination of desolation standing where he ought not to be (let the reader understand), then let those who are in Judea flee to the mountains. Let the one who is on the housetop not go down, nor enter his house, to take anything out, and let the one who is in the field not turn back to take his cloak. And alas for women who are pregnant and for those who are nursing infants in those days! Pray that it may not happen in winter. For in those days there will be such tribulation as has not been from the beginning of the creation that God created until now, and never will be.
What is Jesus talking about? He can’t really mean the end of the world, because what would be the point of fleeing to the mountains at the end of the world? The mountains are going to fall upon us. Furthermore, what does it matter whether the end of the world comes in winter or summer? He’s talking about some impending distress, some future catastrophe. Is it the fall of Jerusalem with the destruction of the temple in AD 70, the crucifixion of Jesus, or the persecutions that will flow to the Christians?
There are certain times when those who are pregnant in particular have difficulties. See, Paul says that when we are married, we have a responsibility to please the other. But in the trials and difficulties of life, in times of distress, the necessity to please the other crosses against our desire to be pleasing the Lord. He’s not giving here a prohibition or restriction, rather he’s talking about the benefit of good order. He wants our undivided devotion to the Lord in all times, including the times of distress; but our devotion to the Lord, especially in times of distress, will be different for those who are married and those who are single. Knowing that some distress is about to come upon the Corinthian Church—or that they’re already in this present distress—he’s saying that it is not the time for marriage. But he speaks again of the form of this world, rather than this world passing away.
Peter: It’s helpful to understand the form of this world as an understanding of the times in which they lived, and to draw the principles from this knowledge.
Phillip: But we have principles. That is, as you take on more responsibilities in this world, you take on more anxieties for this world, and so your capacity to deal with difficult times is diminished. It’s not as if this has nothing to do with our life.
Peter: No. Additionally, notice the principle with which it finishes in verse 35: “To secure your undivided devotion to the Lord.” That is the great issue. Whatever situation you’re in, to be entirely devoted to the Lord Jesus is the key.
Phillip: Slave or free, circumcised or uncircumcised, married or single.
Peter: This takes us back to that key starting passage. What does Paul mean by “Not to lay any restraint upon you, but to promote good order”?
Phillip: I don’t know what is meant by “good order”, but Paul says these things for the benefit of it. That is, you can think of the prayer that Paul encourages us with in 1 Timothy 2:2, “That we may lead a peaceful and quiet life, godly and dignified in every way.” That seems to be the good order that we can have in this world.
You and I live in the peace of Sydney. But there’s a war raging in the Middle East. Our biggest problem is whether there’s going to be petrol in our local service station. But think of the Christians who are living in that context, caught between the Jew and the Muslim in the crossfire, living under the bombs raining from different countries. Their life is not a life of good order. They are in the circumstance of great difficulties, and they increase their anxieties and difficulties entering into married life at this point in time.
Peter: That is helpful. Additionally, the idea of the schema, the culture that is passing away, helps with verse 36: “If anyone thinks that he is not behaving properly toward his betrothed, if his passions are strong, and it has to be, let him do as he wishes: let them marry—it is no sin.” Clearly, he is not raising an ethical issue. He’s talking about the times in which they live, and he’s giving us his wisdom about our present time. How can you best express your total devotion to Jesus in such a time as this? Verse 36 speaks of acting properly. In other words, if your passions are strong, you must act properly and do what needs to be done, namely to get married. An alternative to this would be that if the betrothed is getting on in years and needs to marry soon, then they should get married.
Phillip: We have a translation problem in verse 36. That is, it can be referring to being ‘oversexed’; that’s how the ESV takes it, and it’s a possibility. But the other translation, slightly closer to the Greek but a little bit less politically acceptable today, is that if she’s at a point where having children going to be difficult, then you should do the right thing and get married while there is that opportunity. That is a slightly more likely translation, though the ESV could be correct. Whichever the circumstance you’re thinking it is, appropriate behaviour is what is being spoken of. It’s not following the schemes of this world, but following the Christian scheme and thinking about the welfare of the other person.
Peter: Then it says in verse 37 that it’s better to remain unmarried in these times. But that’s a matter of conscience, and it’s got to do with the present distress. It’s not a law laid upon all Christians everywhere. There was a community who settled in Pennsylvania in the 19th century known as the Rappites, who had no marriage or children as they believed that Christians shouldn’t marry. It won’t surprise you to learn that they died out after 50 years.
Phillip: As the passage keeps saying, it’s not sin. It’s not a matter of right and wrong, but of the beneficial, appropriate thing to do in this circumstance. To turn singleness or marriage into the essential is to miss the point very seriously. Though if you detach it from the context, you could certainly turn it into an absolute.
Peter: How does the passage finish?
Phillip: The woman is bound to her husband, and vice versa. But when she’s widowed, she’s free to marry; though being a Christian woman, she’s only free to marry in the Lord—that is, a Christian husband. She may have, when she was called, been married to a non-Christian. But when he dies, she’s free to remarry in the Lord. But Paul says he thinks she’ll be happier if she does not remarry. But again, it can’t be turned into an absolute, because in 1 Timothy 5, he tells younger widows to marry. But in the general context he speaks of, the widow will be happier if she doesn’t remarry.
Peter: Then there’s a puzzling sentence at the end, “I think that I too have the Spirit of God.” What does this mean?
Phillip: The added word ‘too’ makes it sound as though there are people whom he’s been arguing with who are claiming to be ‘super-spiritual’. That calls back to 1 Corinthians 7:1, “It is good for a man not to have sexual relations with a woman,” for in that is a belief in a spirituality that is against the physicality of sex. He counters this by saying in essence, “They think they have the Spirit; I too have the Spirit.”
But the core of the passage is in verses 17–24, which tells us that changing your circumstances will not solve our problems, for contentment and godliness is found in the Lord Jesus Christ, not in the circumstances of life.
Paul Barnett, “1 Corinthians: Holiness and Hope of a Rescued People”, 2011 (Christian Focus Publications)
Scripture quotations are from The ESV® Bible (The Holy Bible, English Standard Version®), copyright © 2001 by Crossway, a publishing ministry of Good News Publishers. Used by permission. All rights reserved.
Links & Recommendations
For more on this topic, check out this talk on 1 Corinthians 7 called To Wed Or Not To Wed.
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