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Brian Baker's avatar

Hi Tony thank you for the considered changes they look and sound a lot better, I have one small point, outside the local Baptist Church in our community there is a sign that says 'Jesus Saves' my question has always been he saves what? Is it money in the bank or something like that, I know rescues can have similar connotations like he rescues us from what like the Westpac helicopter rescues people but maybe this can be explained easier than he saves money, just a thought.

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David McKinnon's avatar

Hi Tony,

I think this version is much better. Two things jumped out at me:

What is God’s “glory” in Point 1? It seems like a religious/unfamiliar term that needs unpacking.

It may have changed in the 20-odd years since I was at uni, but back then “society” (in Point 2) was one of those totalising terms immediately regarded with suspicion. “our societies” maybe? “our communities” would probably be more buzzword-compliant.

So “But we fail to rule ourselves or our communities or the world.“

Hmm, that’s slightly nauseating for me, maybe “our societies”, then.

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