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Robert Edwards's avatar

Hi Tony,

I do like the Isaiah verses - not sure if that's because of Colin or not as per Jodie.

With point 5 I wonder if it would be punchier (more memorable? if it was 4 discrete sentences?

God raised Jesus to life again as the Ruler and Judge of the world.

Jesus Has conquered death.

Jesus (or He) now brings forgiveness and new life.

Jesus (or He) will return in glory. (should "to judge" be added hear? or is that too much).

Just some thoughts. Thanks for your commitment and effort Tony.

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Jodie McNeill's avatar

I'm still not convinced by the text of box 6, but only from the perspective of ease of memorisation and of clarity. So, under the 'our way', if you remove the line breaks and indenting, then the sentence doesn't really flow. Namely: "Our way: reject God as ruler, by living our own way, damage ourselves, each other and the world, facing death and judgement". It's a shorthand, but seems clunky. Could it be better to go:

Our way:

- we reject God as ruler

- by living our own way

- which damages ourselves, each other, and the world

- so we face death and judgement

Or another alternative that is punchier...

Our way:

- reject God as ruler

- live our own way

- damage ourselves, each other, and the world

- face death and judgement

...but that loses the causality of each clause...

However, having four verbs is an easier way to remember this... so point six is "Our way... reject... live... damage... face death..." etc.

And the same applies to the 'God's way' bit in the second half of point 6.

I'm not sure I've got the best solution here, but maybe this observation might help make some excellent updates even better...?

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